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Entry: I came to more conclusions aobut myself and more problems that i have and the fact that i could fix them but i never actually will.

Life is good like that.

Tonight for dinner, i had lobster..wow..it was so good too. i enjoy eating lobster and cooking the meal also.

Sometime after dinner...my sister and dad and i were talking about ghost stories, it was pretty interesting to hear my dad's stories and about stuff in my grandparents house apparently.

but anyway, another week has come and gone.

I feel a lot better about this class rank thing ever since i talked to parents...yeah i actaully told them what mine was..and wow, it was okay with them. i worried for 4 days about waht they woudl say and they said they were proud..and okay wiht it.. so phew.

i need to stop being lazy about life...this is why i am waht i am...but really, i think i do actaully want to go to college and i jsut really dont want to do the work..i jsut want it all set up for me so i can jsut walk in, sit down, and do it. but this is not reality so i need to work on this. the point is that i sit around thinking about doing things and never do them ever...adn then i regret it...it is an endless cycle and this is all becuase i lack an extreme amount of confidence. i never try because i know i will fail...and then when i do try and fail, well all goes to hell really and this is why i am insecure too...becuase i refuse to talk and be normal. so yeah , those are my problems and we will watch as i do not fix tehm, continue to not speak ever and pretty much have nervous breakdowns as often as possible...